H:11 x W:10
I paint. In doing so, I venture towards an intellectual, intuitive and emotional balance in a journey of self-discovery and communication with the world around me.
There is a certain Seduction in becoming absorbed with the technical aspects of painting _ preparing a canvas, mixing and shifting color, choosing brushes - which leads me into a meditative state of mark making. In this process, that which comes into focus is both the conceptual premise I integrate as a point of departure and that, which is taking place on the canvas, wood or paper before me. Simultaneously, my awareness of external events becomes peripheral and secondary.
As a painting progresses I consciously survey and re-visit details that initially relate to the premise that instigates the painting. This intellectual journey eventually opens doors to the subconscious, allowing passage into the past where I revisit the deep recesses of memory. These indelible marks of my history can be compared to rooms filled with the details and information resulting from research of relevant concepts or, visual specifics from past experience some of which directly relate to the initial premise of the painting and some that have no obvious relationship whatsoever. Within this exploration I am still conscious of adjusting color, paint viscosity, or determining how one color or set of marks is affecting another color in terms of hue, value, placement, gesture, direction, implication, etc ... i.e. the infinite variety of choices in painting. I am always aware of what I am doing at the moment, but in this approach there is a definitive shift to an intuitive orchestration of paint. Instinct becomes the primary influence in observation and inquiry while transcribing the information I process through my expanding vocabulary of paint and mark making.
This altered emphasis is not necessarily deliberate; it occurs from both the culmination of releasing intellectual control and/or analysis and by wandering through my collected memories. The two are symbiotic; as I allow myself to open the doors into rooms of recall the more intuitive I become in terms of painting, and the more I allow intuition to dominate the creative process a greater confidence unlocks more of the doors, accessing memories to which I would not otherwise be conscious. The truth and beauty for me is in these discoveries: in the realm of revealing hidden memories there is an unbroken correlation to ubiquitous revelation and invention in painting.
My discovery within this methodology of painting is that through the highly personal, and only through it, can one enter a realm of the universal, collective unconscious and objective psyche. Through painting I am able to access and unlock or decipher the most profound personal experiences initiated by the catalyst of intellectual premise and pursuit, translated by my vocabulary with paint, which ultimately provides my most fitting and useful means of communication.
Lawrence Fodor 2010